Mr. Greenshields was everyone’s favourite substitute teacher
And not because he never made a single kid do a single bit of actual work.
Mr. Greenshields talked to us like we were adults
But this wasn’t why we all loved him either
Because he disliked adults as much, if not more so, than he disliked kids.
Mr. Greenshields knew everything about everything
The most knowledgeable man ever to walk the earth
Stephen Fry on crack
He could have been the first to win a million on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
And he wouldn’t have wasted a lifeline
Even though he had more friends to phone than any other contestant ever did
Or did he?
Mr. Greenshields lived in his car
And very often he parked overnight in the school’s carpark
Because he had no petrol money.